“Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that’ll get you home earlier.”

This quote from Dan Bennett pretty much sums up how I am feeling these days as I creep quickly into my 30′s. I do have to say that although I am about to reach a huge landmark in adult hood and in so many ways it makes me feel ancient I am thoroughly enjoying the stage of life that we are in as a family as well as where growing up and older has brought me personally.

But before I rave about how wonderful my life is and how much I love my family, I would like to first tell you all how much I think getting old sucks!

In the last year I have come to find several things wrong with my bone structure all the way from my neck to my knees. (Thanks Mom!) And I am sure that a few of them will result in surgeries in the years to come.  And as of today I hurt on a daily basis in ways I thought you had to be over the age of 60 to feel. (No offense to those over 60, but I’m only 30!) I now much prefer a fun but quiet evening with those closest to me rather than a ruckus of a night on the town and staying out till all hours of the morning. And now I am trying to cover up what I used to like to “show off”! And to top that I have lost the understanding as to why the girls running around right now like to let their ass hang out the back of their shorts. Gross! I am also loosing my short term memory! Why must I walk around the house talking to myself in order to remember what I am moving from room to room to accomplish? The other thing that I have found is that I have lost the patience for bull shit. I used to be a pretty patient person when it came to the petty things people do. I overlooked it more often than I should. But as I am coming into my 30′s I have found that I really just have no time for it! You wanna be an idot and make a million excuses for it?…go sell it to someone else!

Some of these things I can’t say I am upset about. It’s as though a slow enlightenment happens as you get older. I’m glad that I am more modest now than I was 10 years ago. I don’t want to be one of those old ladies still trying to look like she’s in her 20′s. (I do long for the flat stomach of my 20′s though!) But I don’t want to feel older than I am either! I am really hoping that my 30′s go nice and slowly and that at the end of them I don’t feel a million years older but there is so much happening in the next 10 years of our lives that I fear I may not be able to escape that.

Bruce does this thing where he talks to me about all of the big events and holidays going on until the end of the year and he makes it seem like its all moving so quickly. Which of course it is but I try to slow it down and enjoy it all whenever I have the chance! He’ll say “Well we have your birthday and then we go to see your mom and then school starts and then Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hanukkah and Christmas and the year is over!” I hate that but that is what I have been doing in my head with the next 10 years of our lives. “Well Ben starts jr. high this year and then in three years he starts high school and Rachel will be in jr. high that same year and then Ben starts driving and then Rachel starts high school and then Ben graduates from high school and then Rachel starts driving and then she graduates from high school and there you go the decade is over!” (I think I’m having chest pains!) I think the hardest part of turning 30 for me is not that I am another year older, that’s going to happen whether I like it or not. It’s that I feel like by me turning 30 I am speeding up the rest of Ben and Rachel’s childhood and I am not ready for that! I want so much for them to enjoy every minute and stay a kid for as long as possible.

The one thing I can say that I am overjoyed about is that I have the privilege of not working outside of the home so that I can be witness to every moment of the coming decade. I am not sure that I would be able to look back on it in my 40′s and beyond if I wasn’t here to see it all and help move it along at the appropriate pace. That will be with the help of a million photographs of course. I am not anticipating a great memory! It already fails me more often than I’d like!

In the meantime I must pay homage to where we are in our “family” life! What a great time! The kids are at the age where we can do just about anything with them. No more limitations because they are too small or too young! We can go see new things and have new experiences as a family and I really love that!

All in all I am looking forward to getting older, if only for the enlightenment that comes with age. I just hope that it doesn’t all go too fast.